Tilly (pointytilly) wrote,

Arrrrgh, there's a huge chip in my glasses that's right over where my right eye has to look to read anything that, when it's night and the light is right, or when it's sunny, reflects so much it makes a huge blob in my vision that makes reading or doing anything...very disorienting. And also sometimes makes me feel like something is about to hit me in the eye.

Even better, it's because I nearly stabbed myself in the eye with tweezers because I'm uselessly clumsy because muscle fail/spasm issues etc, so I feel extra pathetic about it. Luckily my glasses were in the way of making my own eye scream, but now they have a chip in that keeps getting worse and I CAN'T SEE AT NIGHT without it making me feel ill. and I can't see or...function..during the day because it's so sunny it a) makes my vision pain and weirdness and b) makes me overall worse sometimes because photosensitivity.

and I've been tempted to try those online glasses places but I'm RIDICULOUSLY TEXTURE SENSITIVE to glasses frames so without being able to try them all on...egh. and with how I fall asleep/drop things without warning honestly I think I'd destroy plastic frames really fast—right now I have a slightly wobbly but still coherent titanium pair, that's the only thing I've had survive over a year that won't give me a rash either. and "lol just take care of them" doesn't help when I literally...can't...prevent suddenly dropping things or jolting/falling over? Like, myclonic jerks and what I'm...increasingly thinking is cataplexy, albeit with different triggers than is typical. And, of course, I can't ever get it to happen around a doctor, sigh. My GP would believe me but it's not much help for playing Is This Autoimmune Or What And If So Wtf Is It?? and getting a diagnosis on record more so future doctors believe me than anything else. My bets so far are on something in the ill-defined chronic fatigue blobs, though cataplexy and straight into REM sleep with a lot of the suddenly, sleepy moments are...apparently somewhat narcolepsy-suggestive from what I can find reading, as is dex being double-duty effective against it (in fact, dextroamphetamine is used to treat narcolepsy straight up, not just AD(H)D). Not just in not passing out, it counters some of the other weird stuff.

(So far the one specialist I was able to get to was a useless condescending ass, but that's a longer story for someday maybe :p.)

and I CAN'T BRAIN ANYTHING everything is fuzz I'm sorry

...if anyone knows where to find lightweight but high light resistance curtains/suitable fabric that'd be really long and you could get extra panels for a weirdass window for...yeah, help. can't be coated/treated/etc with anything flame-resistant, and most water resistant coatings are out too...if it's got a strong smell or outgasses, if I'm not ill within 5.2 seconds of opening it, my mom will be :p. Ridiculous chemical oversensitivities, etc. And if they're too heavy/clingy, one of the windows gets wet in winter no matter what I do because whoever built this house apparently wanted all future inhabitants of this room to hate them (it's a nonstandard size/huge and on the west side, making for summer greenhouse effect hell and then in winter the temperature fluctuation plus haha good luck finding a storm that seals well = condensation city on the inside) and it'll make a mold factory, sigh.
Tags: can i trade my eyes for robot eyes yet?, i'll tag lj like tumblr if i want, ways my brain fails, why does my body's hardware hate me
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